Not my decision

As I sat there with a beating heart I couldn't help but thinking in all the decisions I've made throughout the years that would imply stepping forward and just throwing myself to the empty yet filled abyss.

So many situations, a pool of flashbacks and still there was no way to pin down one single scenario without quickly searching for the next one.  

" Hey I want to make a difference, I want to make a change, I want to be better"... playing repeatedly in my head as somebody else decided my future for me.